Happiness Dispatch No. 2 Recovered Childhood

My mom was a very careful and worried woman, as I was growing up. There were so many many rules,  all in an attempt to keep me safe and away from harm. She constantly worried for me and controlled everything I did.

I was not allowed to go out and play with other children in the neighborhood. No biking down the street, no hopscotch, no skipping down the sidewalk and certainly no hide and seek. She was afraid that I world either get run over by a passing car or be abducted by someone off the street. So, instead of coming out and making sure I was safe while playing, she just banned playing. I also wasn’t allowed to have or go to slumber parties. Later on in life, she sang her own praises about what a careful and  diligent mother she was for not allowing me to stay overnight at anyone’s house. I wasn’t allowed to go over to many friends’ houses to have play dates, either. She imagined all storts of evils lurking around every corner.

What I wore was also scrutinized very closely. I wasn’t allowed to pierce my ears until I turned 18. And, as a kid, I was banned from wearing clogs (she worried that I twist and break my ankle) and jelly sandals. There were many other rules, which followed me into adulthood, since I lived at home until going off to law school at 26.

Not  surprisingly, I’ve spent most of my life rebelling against all these limitations I grew up with. I won’t bore you with all the different ways I challenged her and rebelled against her and her rules. I’ll just say that I’ve not only got five holes in my ears, I also have proudly piecrced belly button. And, to this day,  sleeping over a friend’s house gives me such indescribable excitement and pleasure that it’s almost comedic.

When I was 21, I bought my first pair of clogs, over my mom’s objections. Apparently, clogs were supposed to stay forever forbidden footwear for me. Or so my mom thought. I remember that the shoe box came with a pre-paid postcard for comments and feedback to the company. I wrote them to tell them how much I loved my new high heeled clogs and how I had lived such deprived childhood. That raised a maternal eye brow, but what did I care. I was wearing clogs!!

But I never got to wear jelly sandals. I just felt I was too old to wear them, while secretly admiring them every time they came back in style for adults. And my inner child always envied little girls with their beautiful, glittery jelly shoes. I just went on envying until now. While I’m no longer 21, or even 31, I still love jelly sandals and have yet to get over a girlhood without them.

So, I finally bought a pair yesterday! I was running errands and meeting with a girlfriend for a quick lunch and window shopping date at the mall and I ran into these gorgeous hot pink and orange jelly sandals. And the little girl inside me yelled: “MINE!” And, just like that, I recovered another piece of my childhood.


It’s never too late to find a piece of oneself. Happiness achieved. Aren’t they beautiful?




About Atilovesparis

I am one with many faces, states and moods. I am a liberal progressive and an old fashion romantic. I am an aspiring writer and a mother-in-waiting. I am a Francophile. I am not defined by what I do for a living, but by my goals, thoughts, ideas, hopes, views, experiences and accomplishments. I am simple and complicated. I am me...
This entry was posted in Ati Loves Fashion, Ati's Life, Create Yourself, Happiness Project, Joie de Vivre, Life Lessons, Shopping and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Happiness Dispatch No. 2 Recovered Childhood

  1. Nessa Lomiva says:

    You’re such an incredible story-teller, and your writing flows as smoothly as hot chocolate on a rainy afternoon. 🙂
    I have been following you on facebook for quite some time, but somehow I missed the fact that you had a blog. I share many similarities with you, but I won’t mention all of them now. Right now, I’ll just let you know that I too am an aspiring writer. However, my skill has gone a bit rusty, especially in lieu of the fact that I moved back to my homeland of Serbia where I do not use English on every day basis (obviously). I have had blogs in the past, but like you, I just had difficulty sticking to it. You’ve inspired me to be more disciplined in that respect, if for no other reason, then for the purpose of practice.

    Don’t mind if you see a lot of me on here from now. I love to read the good stuff, and yours is incredible.

    • Nessa,
      I am currently in New York City, so forgive the late reply. The day you posted your very kind comments was a very hard day for me on the personal front. I was feeling very down and discouraged. Then I read what you wrote. Tears just flowed and washed away my doubts and sadness. I thank you for your feedback and for bringing me such sense of happiness and pride.
      I wish you lots of luck with your writing and would love to read your words as you get back into it again. Bloggers unite!

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