“I Have Something to Say.”

I saw the movie King’s Speech last Sunday. I’ve been trying to see it for weeks, but somehow it just never worked out until Sunday. What a film! It is so strong, inspirational and awe-inspiring. It is my favorite in the Oscar race, but that’s a story for another day.

By now, most have heard about it and its premise: a British royal who stutters seeks help from and forges an unconventional friendship with an odd man who helps him with his speech impairment. Simple enough storyline. And yet this film had me in tears over and over and touched me so deeply. I find myself thinking about it throughout the day and feel affected and moved all over again each time. I’ve been trying to evaluate my feelings and determine exactly why I’ve been touched so greatly by this movie.

After many hours of soul and self searching, a light bulb went off: the thing that touched me the most is the notion that each of us have a voice, a role, a place and many things to say. King’s Speech  literally hits the audience in the head with this theme over and over again. In one scene, the main character yells out: “I have something to say.” That phrase jumps off the screen, grabs you by the shoulders and grips you for the rest of the movie. I felt like I was struck by lightning.

I have something to say.

This simple and ordinary phrase holds so much more than it seems. It holds a wish to be heard and understood. It holds the desire to be accepted. It holds the hope that the world realizes that we all matter.

Being of consequence is such an important aspect of life. Knowing that you matter, that your existence affects the world beyond you, is so critical to having a sense confidence, emotional wellbeing and sanity. In that theater, I sat mesmerized as I watched this man- this prince of privilege whose speech impairment had imprisoned him- assert loudly and forcefully that he had something to say. I heard him and something inside me yelled out from beneath all the hang ups, setbacks, hesitations and fear, “I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY”.

It’s sometimes hard to remember that each of us have something to say. It can be hard to live that notion fully and without fears, doubts and reservations. It’s hard to trust it, get acquainted with it and cozy up to it whole heartedly and permanently. At least it is for me some of the times.

I have days when I am completely aware that “I have something to say”, and embrace that awareness fully. I have days when I hear my voice within me and am proud of letting it out. On those days, I feel internal peace and connected to me inner self. On those days, I walk on sunshine, tall, confident and proud. Those are amazing days.

Unfortunately, those days don’t happen consistently. Those days become illusive, scarce and unattainable at times. Sometimes setbacks happen, the past decides to haunt me, what if’s decide to take over, or I just skip the gym and eat a cupcake. In other words, sometimes life happens, despite all of my well laid plans to the contrary. Some thing or some things collude to eclipse my sunshine.

And that’s when I plummet into darkness, doubt and utter amnesia. Suddenly, I forget “me”. I forget the person I am, what I’m made of, what I’ve achieved, how much I’ve endured, how far I’ve come, and what I am capable of. And in this amnesic state, I wander around helpless, clueless, hopeless and filled with self-doubt. I somehow become incapable of seeing, feeling and remembering that I have something to say.

Life is full of road blocks, speed bumps and potholes. Some are huge and rightfully intimidating, and many are of very little consequence. The trick is to learn which is what and act appropriately. And the most important trick of them all is to realize and never forget that we all have something to say; even when we completely forget this fact; even when amnesia grips us and when fear paralyzes us; and even when we are convinced that we have nothing to say.


About Atilovesparis

I am one with many faces, states and moods. I am a liberal progressive and an old fashion romantic. I am an aspiring writer and a mother-in-waiting. I am a Francophile. I am not defined by what I do for a living, but by my goals, thoughts, ideas, hopes, views, experiences and accomplishments. I am simple and complicated. I am me...
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