It is only the third day of the new year. The gravity, the promise, the energy of having the whole year in front of me, just waiting to unfold, is eating me up! I am truly excited. I am also very curious and anxious. I am in pins and needles when I think of what this year will bring. And I kind of like it.
Will there be lovely evenings, cool morning walks, bright and happy bike rides and sunny walks on the beach? Will there be romantic nights and joyous gatherings? Will there be laughter and love? Will my friendships grow, deepen and evolve? Will there be the start of new friendships?
Will I begin to find my path and purpose in life? Will I finally begin to master my mind, my heart and my thoughts? Will there be enough strength to accept things beyond my control and to change those things in life that need changing? Will I be safe? Will I be at peace? Will I master the art of being French?
Will I be surrounded by friends and loved ones, sharing those unforgettable “once in a blue moon” moments? Will I finally learn to embrace and welcome solitude? How much solitude will there be?
Will there be adventures? Illuminations? Self discoveries? Evolution? Enlightenment?
Will I see Paris this year?
Will beauty envelop me, peace surround me and confidence become my best friend? Will there be many setbacks, dark days and sadness? Will I be strong enough to withstand them? Will there be enough time for me to get where I need to?
Will I be a good, honest and worthy daughter, wife and mother? Will I live in the moment and enjoy life as it comes, thorns and all? Will I be happy rather than sad, fertile rather than not, and able to get beyond my four-year-old journey? Will I be off to see the wizard once more? More importantly, will I finally be able to bid him farewell and leave him behind?
Will there be a rapid and frantically beating heart? Will it keep beating fearlessly, unstoppable and strong? Will it be unphased by “what if’s” and the sad past? Will there be a growing belly that keeps growing- without drama, hesitation or reservation? Will there be a birth- a little moonbeam of hope to grow, thrive and begin a tiny life of its very own?
Just the anticipation of all that will come is making me jittery and filled with hope and excitement. In this moment, the feeling of possibility is palpable.
So, here I go…into each and every day 2011 holds as if it is the best and most special day of my life.